Sunday, September 28, 2008

The Pastor's Ass

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and It won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey That he entered it in theRace Again, and it won again. The local paper read: PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT. The Bishop was so upset with this kind of Publicity that he ordered The Pastor not to enter the donkey in another race. The next day, the local paper headline Read:
BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.
This was too much for the bishop, so he Ordered the pastor to get Rid Of the donkey.The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a Nearby convent.The local paper, hearing of the news, posted The following headlineThe Next day:
NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.
The bishop fainted.He informed the nun that she would have to Get rid of the donkey, so She Sold it to a farmer for $10.
The next day the paper read:
NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.
This was too much for the bishop, so he Ordered the nun to buy back The Donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run Wild. The next day the headlines read:

NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.
The bishop was buried the next day.

The moral of the story is . . . Being Concerned about public opinion Can Bring you much grief and misery . . Even shorten your Life. So be yourself and enjoy life. Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and You'll be a lot happier And Live longer!

thanks to my cafemom friend for this one...funny words of wisdom!

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Oprah's Book Club

Wow! Can you believe I have not blogged in over an entire month? If you read my last entry you know why. Going back to work teaching full-time and mommying a toddler full time barely gives me any writing time! It's either sleep or write and you know how much this gal loves catching her some serious zzzzz's. But I promise to post a preview chapter of The Gospel According to Gabby super soon.

What I do want to gripe about today, displaying not the least amount of jealousy of course (did you notice the color of this text?) is how damn lucky that David Wroblewski is. If you are not familiar with this Polish fellow, his debut novel, The Story of Edgar Sawtelle, is Oprah's latest Book Club pick. What a lucky s.o.b. that guy is. You know everything Oprah touches or even farts on turns to gold, right?

If Confessions of a Catholic Schoolgirl was an Oprah Book Club pick, can you imagine how much money I would be able to give to domestic violence non-profits? So many beds, toiletries, toys, food, and counseling could then be available to all the battered moms out there that have no place to go. A teen novel may not be Oprah's cup of tea, or one of her "favorite things" but what she does love to do is help others. And Oprah if you're out there, remember this writer/mom/teacher is personally donating 25% of profits from my book to help end domestic violence in the U.S. Won't you please help a sister out?