A Newbie's Guide to Publishing: Your Game Face

A Newbie's Guide to Publishing: Your Game Face

Somerset Collection

Today, Xander and Mommy went shopping at the Somerset Collection in Troy for Mommy's "back-to-school" clothes. Even us teachers need some new school outfits to look fashionable throughout the season (makes going back to work more tolerable!) Today, is also the day I decided to never again take a toddler to the mall.
Now that Xander can press a button and unlock himself out of his stroller, he refuses to stay seated. "I want out! Want to walk!"
He stiffens and wails when Mommy tries to put him back in the stroller upon one of his escapes. Besides putting a straight jacket on the kid, he's so stubborn he will get his way or die trying. "I want to walk!"

Ducking into the Gap dressing room to try on some jeans and pants, I let him walk around in my tennis shoes to keep him quiet. "I smell kaka, Mama." So I change his pull-up right there on the Gap floor on the dressing room. Five minutes later. "I smell kaka again."
Mommy changes it again. Mommy struggles to get toddler back in stroller. Mommy forces toddler against his will back into stroller. Toddler screams bloody murder. Salesgirl asks if things are alright.

Things are alright as Xander escapes from his stroller again and runs out into the mall.
Never again. In three hours, all I managed to buy is one shirt and two pairs of socks. Between tantrums, feedings, changings, strapping into stroller, there wasn't any time or any sanity left to shop. This teacher has finally learned a lesson.

13 Days

In exactly 13 days, I will be back in the classroom. Boo hoo! Where did the summer go? Why does it always seem that fun times go by so quickly, while days at work go by so slowly? Each minute is still only 60 seconds.
I must squeeze in all the fun I can before I go back to work. My priority now is to play, play, and play some more with my two-year-old son before summer sets and autumn returns for another crisp season.
Is it too much to ask for good, respectable, responsible high school students this year? I will try to be the best teacher I can, and I only ask my students to be the best they can. If you come to class, expect to work. Come prepared, bring your books, read, write and enjoy it. My job will be much more enjoyable. Yes, I know I am a dreamer. THE SECRET says to visualize the positive, right?

Blurry-Eyed and Bushed

You’re not tired yet? Unbelievable. Eye can feel my lids becoming heavy and beginning to close.
Can’t…stay…open. Must…stay…open.
Just before Eye fade to black, you force me back open to stare blankly at a little blinking black line on a white, almost blank computer screen. I think you called it a “canvas” once.

Can’t you see that Eye’m getting blurry? The stinging and burning sensation you feel in my sockets should tip you off. Yeah, yeah, Eye know that you got a late start. Shouldn’t have been abusing me and wasting me by flipping through the television channels trying to find that Reality TV marathon. Like “Queer Eye for the Straight Guy” is worth blowing the opportunity to become a bestselling author. You’re pushing me too hard, and Eye don’t like it one bit. Eye don’t want to be blamed if you miss your deadline. Eye won’t be responsible for your procrastination.

Why don’t you give us a break? Eye’m just two pale-green irises with overworked pupils that cannot help you anymore. You’re getting too pushy. Eye can get really irritated if you strain me. Look in the mirror at me and you will see those little red squiggly lines forcing their way in. Eye’m so ugly. Not very becoming on a promising, new writer. Eye even think I see some dark, puffy circles under me. Tsk tsk. Why do you treat me so badly? Without me, you’re nothing. Sure you’ll still have your imagination—but you can’t create without vision. Face it. You need me.

Can you stop yawning and rubbing at me? It won’t make things better. Eye thought we were a team—you and Eye. The only thing that will help us now is a good night’s sleep. All Eye can see are hazy images of letters mixing into words and blurring into sentences. Members of the alphabet lost and angry-- jumping out at me from the screen. Oops! Just spotted some spelling errors and a few typos. There’s really no rush, you know. Better for you to perfect your work than to get any more of those nasty rejection letters. You know Eye hate reading those. They’re brutal on our motivation.

Get some rest, girl. Shut me…close me…it’s okay. Relax. You know Eye will be here for you tomorrow. Well-rested and ready to go. Me…you…the canvas. Sound like a plan?

Darkness.
Lights out.
Goodnight.

Finally some shut eye.

Michelle Kane hopes you GET LIT with her new novel, CONFESSIONS OF A CATHOLIC SCHOOLGIRL. A portion of profits from book sales to be donated to domestic violence shelters.

My D list celebrity sightings

So a few weeks ago, we went to a local Greek festival, and OPA! guess who was there performing a FREE concert? Yes, American Idol castoff, Constatine. Check out the photo from his "HOT" performance. He's a lot thinner in person.

Then...on a recent trip to the Hard Rock Casino in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida, guess which MTV reality star I spotted now working as a consierge at the hotel? Gay Dan from "The Real World Miami." Looking absolutely fabulous and talking with his hands, of course.

Now what I want to know is when will I run into some A listers, like Brangelina?

Rock of Love/Scott Baio is 45 and single

Okay, so when I'm not being a wife, mother, writer, reader, exerciser, traveler...etc., I watch reality tv shows about has-beens. Like a good train wreck or car crash, they are quite addicting to gawk at.

There is a new show on VH1 called Rock of Love---which is about the lead singer, Bret Michaels of 80's hair band fame, Poison. He still has the long, bleached blonde hair and still wears the do-rags and at 40- something is making out with all kinds of drunken skanks half his age. It's so bad, I can't stop watching. Am I a big Poison fan? No. Is Bret Michaels hiding his receding hairline. Yes. It's very funny to see an aging rocker still look the same 20 years later and thinks he looks just as hot.

Now there's also the VH1 show "Scott Baio is 45 and Single" for all you Happy Days fans. I never knew Scott Baio was such a jerk to all these women. ...and Chachi was so sweet---my old crush is now crushed forever. Michelle Does NOT love Chachi any longer.

I can't wait to view more mindless TV when more 80s has-beens come back around. This time it's The Coreys. Sweet. Two train wrecks for the time of one.

Harry Potter

Are you into the whole Harry Potter craze? They are having parties all over town and read-ins for the lastest and last book in the series. I just don't get it. I have not read any of the books. All I know is that I am very jealous right now of J.K. Rowling.

At least kids...and adults too are reading!

$660 Million Priest Sex Abuse Settlement

Los Angeles, CA.

In one of the largest settlements ever for the victims of pedophile priests, I am happy that it finally seems some justice is being served. But is it really? Catholic priests have long been quietly shuffled around from parish to parish to silence the awful rumors of pedophilia. So for any other pedophile, they would have to register as a sex offender and face some type of criminal charges. Why do Catholic priests get "off" so easy?
Can a million dollars or more help to the pain after having your childhood murdered by some sick priest? Is that really justice for the victims, their loved ones, and for the pedophiles?

In my book, CONFESSIONS OF A CATHOLIC SCHOOLGIRL, the character of Father Fingers gets shuffled off to a different parish after the rumors got louder and he continued to live his life, and his work in the name of Jesus Christ. How many more children had to suffer from the hands of an embarrassed diocese with their new priest? Priests who are sent to other churches don't suffer a consequence, they continue to destruct lives and molest innocent children. Catholics beware! Is your favorite priest a transplant from another parish?
Please--do not let your kids be alone with these pedophiles.

Dreamer?

I forgot to update the dreamer side of blog! Silly me! Does one have time to dream anymore? Actually dreamed last night of a big giant bee zooming and buzzing by my head. Might have something to do with husband actually slashing a dozen or so bee hives that were built sneakily under our deck.
Dreaming of book sales---more money to help fight domestic violence and a relaxing, luxury cruise to the Greek Islands.....mmmmm......better than bees.

Writers Write, Right?

Wow! It has been almost a month and I have not been blogging much. Busy with summer fun and a bunch of other stuff. Mom stuff mostly. Which brings me to me being a writer, I should be writing, right? And that includes blogging. Speaking of this blog--which is about news about my life as a Mom/Writer/Teacher--I should update you on the those three areas of my life.

Mom: Have waited to hit the potty training hard as I wait to get through my last jumbo box of Huggies. Xander's allergies have been flaring up lately (like Mommy's) as we have been spending lots of time outdoors---playing, swimming, checking out festivals in and around Detroit, etc. Going through lots of tissue over here as Xander's nose is constantly running.

Writer: Doing some shameless self-promotion as have plastered up book announcements all over town--you may notice my bright, neon pink flyers in downtown areas of Ferndale, Royal Oak and Birmingham. Trying to line up some radio interviews and of course, the internet marketing is never ending.

Teacher: On a much needed vacation. When I asked the kids what they learned in class as an extra credit option to their final exam---here were some of their responses:

"Nothing."
"That I hated reading boring Romeo and Juliet."
"I learned that you have a passion for coffee. You should open your own coffee shop."

I am also a wife! Of almost five years--this Friday! How does time go by so fast after marriage?? Happy anniversary, honey!

8 Days and counting

OMG! Like the students, teachers also cannot wait until the end of the school year. They have already checked out and left their brains and manners at the door. This summer I need to work on book promotion, writing of KIDS OF 8 MILE HIGH and hanging out with my now 2-year-old son, working on the potty training. GET LIT! Buy CONFESSIONS OF A CATHOLIC SCHOOLGIRL, by Michelle Kane.

Mamapazooza

We took Xander to the Detroit Zoo over the weekend to check out some cool polar bears and sweet kangaroos, not to mention some great music punkified for kids from the Candy Band! Look how much fun he had dancing all over the place!

Go Xander!! Go! Dance! Dance!

May's MetroParent Magazine

My article, "For Mothers, For Daughters, For Discussion" is in the RECHARGING MOM section of this month's MetroParent. My book, CONFESSIONS OF A CATHOLIC SCHOOLGIRL also gets a shout out! Happy reading! ...and Happy early Mother's Day Moms! Time to go and enjoy the rare Michigan sunshine with my son.

RAVE REVIEW FOR NEW BOOK

Please check out this week's Suburban Lifestyles newspaper. Book reviewer, Margo Lagattuta says, "There is much to appreciate in CONFESSIONS OF A CATHOLIC SCHOOLGIRL..." and "This is a story many young people could relate to, and perhaps their parents as well."

Suburban Lifestyles

Anyone living in the north Oakland County area, please watch for my featured book review in next week's Suburban Lifestyles newspaper. Have you gotten LIT yet?? Buy CONFESSIONS OF A CATHOLIC SCHOOLGIRL.

METRO TIMES

The latest & greatest news is that I have a shout out this week in the Detroit area Metro Times. Pick it up free at a bazillion different places around town. Check out p. 28...and GET LIT!!!!

DETROIT FREE PRESS

Today...is it still Easter Sunday?.....I was featured in a Q &A article in the Community section of the Detroit Free Press. Not local? Click here to read:http://www.freep.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070408/CFP04/704080444/1112#article_comments

Although there were some errors:
1. I grew up on the northwest side of Detroit---not southwest
2. I went to St. Suzanne, not St. Cecilia
3. My next book is titled KIDS OF 8 MILE HIGH---not 8 MILE HIGH

And yes...I really do photograph that bad!

Parent/Teacher Conference Nightmare

Okay, parents, here's the thing...after surviving 4 hours---yes 4 HOURS of talking to parents at our Spring Parent/Teacher conferences last night, I have a question. WHY ARE YOU BRINGING YOUR KIDS TO CONFERENCES? Nothing in P/T conference mentions the word "child" or student conferencing. Yell at your kid after you get home about his bad report card and how he/she is grounded forever. Please do not humiliate your child in front of his/her teacher. It will never bring positive results. I don't need to hear you threaten to come to school with your kid and hold his hand all through the halls as you walk through with slippers on and curlers in your hair. Please parents take this advice... get the report card, talk to teachers, be as brief as possible, and get home to your children and HELP them with the homework.

Catholic schoolgirl

Here's a photo of me on my first day of school at St. Suzanne, Detroit, Michigan. And this was only the beginning...

notice the church in the background.

Hellooooo Father Fingers!!!!! R.I.P.

BORDERS! BORDERS! Read all about it!

Now available for order at all major Borders Bookstores! CONFESSIONS OF A CATHOLIC SCHOOLGIRL---can't find it on the shelves? Order it at Borders! The more readers who order the book, the more money we can donate to domestic violence organizations. Keep women & children safe. Peace & blessings, MK