Wednesday, July 22, 2009

The Only One

My son is an only child. I plan on not having any more children. Many people tell me he needs a sibling. My usual response is that I can barely manage the one I have, so why would I want to have more? Being a full-time teacher and trying to keep my active four-year-old boy busy this summer with plenty of activities, has left me no time at all for myself.

Here's the thing: I am suffering from Mother's Guilt of having an Only Child. Taking care of one child is difficult enough and I can't imagine how the millions of other moms out there with two or more children find enough time in the day to do everything that they need or want to be done.

Should I do laundry or play with my son? Is it okay to relax and read a magazine for twenty minutes and let him play by himself? It's hard to make a phone call without my son clamoring for my attention. My computer time is only after he goes to bed. My days have been centered around playdates, t-ball practices and games, swim lessons, running errands, cleaning house, etc.

Why do I feel guilty if my son is not busy doing something every second of the day? How do I sneak in more Mommy time before I go completely bonkers?

How do you moms of an Only Child do it?


Detroit AnonyMom said...

Hi! I have one daughter who is now five years old and full of energy. I try to plan something daily, especially now that school's out. The bummer is that there are days where I don't have any 'me' time until my husband gets home from work. At scheduled playdates I look forward to on adult conversations with other moms, despite the constant interruptions. Listening to my music on my ipod is also fun if I do have an alone day at the park with no playdate. However, it is totally okay to let your child entertain yourself while you read a magazine, or check email, etc.. They do need to learn to do that. Having some ‘me’ time before nightfall is starting to get easier the older she gets, so there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I just started reading “Parenting an Only Child” by Susan Newman to help with my occasional bouts of guilt, but overall, I do feel that have just one child is the right choice for me. Hope this helps.

greeneyedwriter said...

Thanks for this. You made me feel better! Sounds like a good book! I have 3 books started that I have yet to finish! No time! yikes